If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
