I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
