Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
