im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
