You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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