I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
