what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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