Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
