You work out of a Hotel?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dick very happy bro
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
