Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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