Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
These tits shall not be calmed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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