I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
