I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
