Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
