somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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