i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
