Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
