yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
