Screwed.edu
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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