just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
