can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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