I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize