I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
