He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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