they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
