i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
