i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
