Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
