She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
