The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
