We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
