i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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