Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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