Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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