I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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