You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My vagina is very pro this idea
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
