I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
