my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
