So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
