I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
