Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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