now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
