Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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