Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize