please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize