If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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