You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
