The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
