then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
