I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize