I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
