Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
