I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
