Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
