yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
