Everything about him screamed your future.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
