I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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