i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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