so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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