Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize