We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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