dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
