it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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