i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
