Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
