he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
